I once knew a sandwich, a humble old snack,
Two slices of bread with some turkey in back.
It lived a good life on a plate by the sinkโฆ
Till someone online yelled, โThis sandwich must THINK!โ
They claimed it was biased (against what? who knows).
They said its existence was problematic prose.
A mob soon assembled with hashtags and rage,
Declaring that sandwiches must now disengage.
โApologize, sandwich!โ they shouted with might.
โItโs 2026 โ get your condiments right!โ
The sandwich, confused, tried to reason and speak,
But bread has no mouth, and turkeyโs quite meek.
Soon crackers were trembling, afraid theyโd be next.
A muffin deleted its whole baking text.
A donut went trending for something it said
In 2010 when it still had a head.
The fridge held a meeting to sort out the mess,
But yogurt was canceled for causing distress.
The cheese tried to mediate, calm and composedโ
Then someone dug up what it said when it moldโed.
And so the whole kitchen fell into despair,
With nobody left who felt safe to declare
That maybe, just maybe, weโve gone a bit far
When weโre canceling snacks like theyโre Hollywood stars.
So next time you see a small โproblematicโ bite,
Remember that nuance is still a delight.
And maybe the world would be slightly less dire
If we stopped setting sandwiches publicly on fire.