I once knew a sandwich, a humble old snack,
Two slices of bread with some turkey in back.
It lived a good life on a plate by the sink…
Till someone online yelled, “This sandwich must THINK!”
They claimed it was biased (against what? who knows).
They said its existence was problematic prose.
A mob soon assembled with hashtags and rage,
Declaring that sandwiches must now disengage.
“Apologize, sandwich!” they shouted with might.
“It’s 2026 — get your condiments right!”
The sandwich, confused, tried to reason and speak,
But bread has no mouth, and turkey’s quite meek.
Soon crackers were trembling, afraid they’d be next.
A muffin deleted its whole baking text.
A donut went trending for something it said
In 2010 when it still had a head.
The fridge held a meeting to sort out the mess,
But yogurt was canceled for causing distress.
The cheese tried to mediate, calm and composed—
Then someone dug up what it said when it mold‑ed.
And so the whole kitchen fell into despair,
With nobody left who felt safe to declare
That maybe, just maybe, we’ve gone a bit far
When we’re canceling snacks like they’re Hollywood stars.
So next time you see a small “problematic” bite,
Remember that nuance is still a delight.
And maybe the world would be slightly less dire
If we stopped setting sandwiches publicly on fire.
